When selecting a vehicle in a zombie dystopia, it is important to keep certain factors in mind. This article will address a number of issues including road conditions, vehicle durability and fuel efficiency in discussing the pros and cons of various modes of conveyance.

Road Conditions:

If you live in the country, as I have, you have enjoyed the freedom of country roads with a car showing up perhaps once every five miles, if it’s busy. If you live in the city, as I do now, where there can get to be so many cars that the road comes to a standstill for twenty or thirty minutes at a time or where an accident creates rows of cars miles long you may have not had that luxury. When choosing a vehicle, think of where you are and where you are trying to get. Do not choose a vehicle that requires huge amounts of space to move or that could easily be hindered by a blocked road. If you are stuck on a road where the cars where abandoned, your vehicle stops being protection and suddenly becomes a cage. For this reason, a small vehicle or bike of some sort would indeed be a better option, assuming the vehicle allows you to get around the hindrances in the road.

Fuel Efficiency:

Or, phrased differently, what needs to go into this conveyance to get me where I need to go and how available is that resource. With many vehicles this is somewhat easy to understand: we put in one gallon of unleaded gasoline, and the car will therefore drive a certain number of miles. For those not familiar with cars, the fuel efficiency of a car is rated in terms of miles per gallon (m.p.g.). Any vehicle or conveyance requires some input to get the output desired, but some are more efficient than others.

Durability:

Imagine the following scenario: You are cruising along in your [vehicle] and you round a turn to face off against a horde of undead. You plow into them and you can feel the car slowed by every one you hit, but you feel confident your vehicle can handle it; after all, it is a [vehicle]. This sort of tactic would not work with every vehicle – a horse, for example, would easily spook, and something little like my ’92 Mazda Protégé would simply crumble after hitting the first couple. However, this is not simply about being able to hit things and keep driving, but about how well the car will stay running. Imagine trying to find parts for a Japanese car when you are in Nebraska or even if you were in California. You don’t want a car that breaks often or is impossible to fix with only a limited supply of parts (likely scrounged from other vehicles found dead or abandoned at the side of the road.) If you are acquiring a mode of transportation not oriented on an engine, this whole thing is far easier – a bike won’t be bashing any zombies, but if it breaks, its almost a guarantee that anyone could look at it and say, with certainty, “yup, looks like the [bike part] is broken, looks like we’ll have to [mode of repair].

With these factors in mind, here is a brief list of various categories of ‘modes of conveyance’ that I feel should be considered:

Bikes:

Dirt bikes, motorbikes, and mountain bikes are perhaps the best equipped means of conveyance. They are either human powered or have a very good fuel efficiency and they can easily go from on-road to off-road without any effort. If you do happen to find a ditch that you can’t ride out of, you can pick up your bike, carry it out, and continue riding. They are a relatively cheap option to obtain being plenty common (any Wal-Mart, K-Mart, sporting goods store, etc. will have bikes) and are relatively easy to maintain. All they require is a little bit of lubrication every now and again (which, can be obtained from natural sources) and an air pump to keep the tires full. To service a bike requires far less knowledge of intricate engine components and far less space. The tires will eventually wear out, but until that point, you are in possession of a very reliable means of transportation.

Beasts of Burden:

Animals have their advantages and disadvantages – they require no fuel and can perhaps travel where no vehicle really can, not to mention they can carry stuff and follow without much guidance. Though not often thought of as this, I have seen many cows and other animals that form attachments to people and can respond like a dog and therefore show very good potential as a beast of burden, though slower than horses. These animals, however, are easily spooked – a bad trait around zombies – and they have the potential of receiving a fatal bite or scratch from a meandering zombie leaving you without a mode of transportation. Beyond that, if an animal gets spooked, they may try to get any weight off its back any way it can and you may end up with an injury in the process. Beasts of burden are something to have as a convenience, if at all, and to be trusted like you would trust a thief – you want them to trust you completely, but you must be ready for them to disappear when it is most inconvenient for you and thus should prepare for that situation. What that means is you should not rely on a horse to carry everything for you, or else have a way to causing it to all fall off without being damaged.

Luxury Cars:

Luxury cars are great to use and abuse as long as you know its limitations. A luxury car handles like a dead whale and is only slightly more fuel efficient. If you don’t care about keeping it around and manage to find an abandoned one with the keys in it, smashing a few zombies could be a relaxing event. Refueling it would be pointless, however, as you are then wasting fuel on a vehicle that would not get as far as a compact car or motorcycle/motorbike on the same tank. I think by keeping in mind that these cars are not effective at long-term travel and therefore should be used for zombie-smashing-fun, spare parts and/or for a cheap blockade, Luxury cars can be a pleasant little find periodically, but not something to cherish forever.

Compact Cars:

Small cars have their advantages & disadvantages. They are fuel efficient and easily maneuverable. Today’s gas/electric hybrid cars can travel well over 30 miles per gallon of fuel and one (Honda Insight, manual) can get over 60 m.p.g. on the highway. Also, many of today’s compact cars are as safe as or safer than the larger cars or SUVs. Still, compact cars will not smash things as well as larger cars, so make sure to drive it on relatively clear roads to avoid all possible threats of getting into a car accident and being left without a car at all. Especially avoid convertibles as they do not have the best safety record and are a particularly unsafe due to having only a layer of fabric between you and the undead hordes. Ultimately, compact cars are good for getting across country, but less effective at getting across town. Given the cramped quarters of many of the roads in the cities and the fact that there are sure to be cars abandoned in the roads will only make things worse. If travel is possible, this is ideal, but you do not want to find yourself in a situation where you have snuck through a very narrow area only to find yourself surrounded by zombies and seeing no easy way out of the whole mess.

SUV & Trucks:

The temptation for many may be to go out and find a Hummer or a large SUV or truck of some sort because it seems safe, durable, and capable of traveling over open terrain. Some SUVs and trucks are incredibly powerful and capable of accomplishing ridiculous tasks (like getting out of a five-foot-ditch), but they are terribly inefficient when it comes to fuel requirements. While most new cars get about 28 miles to the gallon (m.p.g.) on the highway (with some in excess of 40 m.p.g.), most SUVs get less than 20 m.p.g. - and some popular models get at an appalling 12-16 m.p.g. or, in the case of a Hummer, when hauling a load as little as 8-10 m.p.g.

There is a report of GM creating a hybrid vehicle for military purposes that uses a 6.6-liter Duramax Diesel V-8 engine to power the vehicle, and then using the electricity generated by the vehicle while running to electrolyze hydrogen from water. It then uses the stored hydrogen in a fuel cell to generate power far more efficiently than in a diesel generator. However, this is in development and only for the military, so it is unlikely that we would be able to find one of these sitting conveniently around for emergency use.

If you want something to travel short distances through slightly rough terrain (across a field, perhaps) and have no need to use this vehicle many times, then an SUV or a truck is a good option because it will take a lot of abuse and will be able to keep the rider/driver relatively safe. If you want a vehicle to be your primary transportation in a world filled with zombies, scrap the SUV and stick with something smaller and more maneuverable.