What armor would you perfer if you could get your hands on it in distopia? Would you go for the chaimmail or the full length trench coat with the tall coller? Would you wear boots or sneekers? or would you run down the street naked screaming in tongues?
Will you hold me back? If need be I will leave you behind...
Of the armor options given, only the bullet-resistant vest seems truly useful. It's light and concealable, without adding large surfaces to snag or heavy weights / padding to slow you down. The usefulness of the armor in this case is not its anti-zombie protection, but its anti-human protection. Who knows whether the next human you'll be in a dystopian wasteland will be friendly or murderous, and having on a concealed bullet-resistant vest might just save your life.
Chainmail: Have fun when you you pass out from exhaustion and the zombies get to you.
Full length trench coat: huge folds of cloth to snag and trap you, without adding any true armor value or stopping fluid to eyes / mouth / nose.
Flack Jacket: the appearance of armor, without the ability to actually stop bullets. IF the flack jacket you're talking about is one of the new bullet-resistant vests being worn in Iraq by US troops, then yeah, wear it, If it's the standard flack vest you can find in an army surplus store, don't bother, as it's not even remotely bullet resistant.
Charcoal BDUs: I've discussed this issue before, but a quick recap: Hot, bulky, ineffective. You might as well just put on snow pants and a thick jacket for the protection that the charcoal BDUs will provide. Have fun with that heat stroke.
No Armor: Might as well wear a bullet-resistant vest while you're at it. You can wear one on top of a t-shirt, and they're actually pretty comfortable for extended wear. Plus, the straps are so close to the rest of your clothes that they're nearly snag-proof.
Pop-bottle armor: not a bad idea, but plastic thicker than a pop bottle would be more useful - try a plastic 55-gal drum or something similar. The shaping would be easy - make a form from chicken wire, drape the plastic over it, put it in an oven at a few hundred degrees - hot enough to soften the plastic, not hot enough to ignite it.
On the off chance that I could actually find anything on that list around here, I'd probably go for the Flack Jacket, as it should provide a decent amount of protection from bites etc. Ultimately, that I'd prefer T-Armor, or no armor so I can run as fast as possible.
There is this stuff for sports called body armor I believe. You wear it under your uniforms to help stop cuts, scrapes, and absorbs some impact from falling. It is also fairly slippery to hold onto. It would not be bullet proof, but in areas were you have to be worried about zeds clawing and biting. It could help avoid zeds from grabbing you and it may prevent random full strenght zombie bites from penetrating.
I'm with Cheesehead on this - things like forearm and shin guards found at sporting goods or martial arts supply stores provide light protection to nibblable parts. might look kinda silly though.
I've got a nice leather trenchcoat that would actually provide some armor value, but yeah, there's too much loose fabric to snag onto, and zombies won't appreciate how cool it looks...
The battle rages but they fight in vain
When all is done it must begin again
-"Freya", the Sword
I'm going to have to go with a leather trenchcoat, thick sweatshirt, biker gloves, thick jeans and either hiking boots or cross trainers. Chainmail's for idiots, as is a bullet proof jacket. Kevlar is easier to cut through or bite through than shoot through, and if you're worried about getting shot you have no business there in the first place.
Max "Alright, we're just about set...half an hour to go and we'll b-JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
Mitchell "WAGALGALGALGLALGA"
Max "AAAAAAAAAAAH"
Pop bottle plastic armor coated in oil/vasaline/KY jelly/whatever is slippery.
Not only is it extremely lightweight, but the concave (or is it convex?) shape of the 2 litre bottles would make it pretty difficult for the monsters to bite through. Have you ever tried to bite a 2 litre bottle coated in petroleum jelly? Me neither, but it would be pretty tough. Could be custom trimmed for the individual.
^ Yes, I am completely serious. Think about it.
And a biker helmet with any vision obstruction removed. Even better would be a nice hockey goalie mask with the cage/neck protector, but those aren't exactly gonna be laying around, unles you feel like looting a sporting goods store.
Metal trash can lids can make for rudimentary shields. I'm gonna survive this thing.
Cheesehead's suggestions are duly noted.
:!: D-FENS :!:
The thinness of the plastic being used is a serious concern of mine. Granted, using 2-liter bottles coated with grease MAY prevent zombies from actually ripping off flesh, but the crushing force could still be damaging. Conscious human beings nearly always modulate muscle strength to avoid permanent muscle damage. Example 1: try breaking your jaw with your tongue: your tongue is strong enough to do it, but your nervous system won't let you. Example 2: the grannie who lifts a car off of her grandson to save him - sure it's doable, but you never hear about the muscles, ligaments, and tendons that the grannie tore apart.
Given zombies' presumed invulnerabilty to pain, I'd be very concerned that a zombie biting down on mere soda bottle plastic would crush the muscle and tissue underneath, even if the zombie did shatter its own jaw in the process.
The armor concept (especially the grease idea!) is great, just might want to use thicker plastic than soda bottles.
And a biker helmet with any vision obstruction removed. Even better would be a nice hockey goalie mask with the cage/neck protector, but those aren't exactly gonna be laying around, unles you feel like looting a sporting goods store.
Metal trash can lids can make for rudimentary shields. I'm gonna survive this thing.
:!: D-FENS :!:
Where have I heard that before...
However, I'm no sports fan, but if I recall correctly, a Biker Helmet has better all-round protection than a hockey mask ala Jason. It's also designed for extremely hard collision at high speeds, instead of the mask which is designed to provide slight protection against a speeding slightly-airborne hockey puck. Keep the visor too, leave it out and they'll go straight for it and tear out the eyes. Leave it in and they might not even see your eyes, but you'll certainly see theirs (Provided they still have them of course )
The thinness of the plastic being used is a serious concern of mine. Given zombies' presumed invulnerabilty to pain, I'd be very concerned that a zombie biting down on mere soda bottle plastic would crush the muscle and tissue underneath, even if the zombie did shatter its own jaw in the process.
Here's the problem with that logic. Find something that's going to form a rigid protection around various body parts without being bulky. Go ahead. Find it. I'll give you some time.
... found it yet? ...
... yet ...?
We're going to encounter two schools here (as with nearly everything) where everyone will have to decide on the continuum from strong to sleek. I want it to be more sleek, I don't care about broken bones, I'm more concerned about zombism. If your hand is crushed, you can still run.
What armor would you perfer if you could get your hands on it in distopia? Would you go for the chaimmail or the full length trench coat with the tall coller? Would you wear boots or sneekers? or would you run down the street naked screaming in tongues?
Will you hold me back? If need be I will leave you behind...
Of the armor options given, only the bullet-resistant vest seems truly useful. It's light and concealable, without adding large surfaces to snag or heavy weights / padding to slow you down. The usefulness of the armor in this case is not its anti-zombie protection, but its anti-human protection. Who knows whether the next human you'll be in a dystopian wasteland will be friendly or murderous, and having on a concealed bullet-resistant vest might just save your life.
Chainmail: Have fun when you you pass out from exhaustion and the zombies get to you.
Full length trench coat: huge folds of cloth to snag and trap you, without adding any true armor value or stopping fluid to eyes / mouth / nose.
Flack Jacket: the appearance of armor, without the ability to actually stop bullets. IF the flack jacket you're talking about is one of the new bullet-resistant vests being worn in Iraq by US troops, then yeah, wear it, If it's the standard flack vest you can find in an army surplus store, don't bother, as it's not even remotely bullet resistant.
Charcoal BDUs: I've discussed this issue before, but a quick recap: Hot, bulky, ineffective. You might as well just put on snow pants and a thick jacket for the protection that the charcoal BDUs will provide. Have fun with that heat stroke.
No Armor: Might as well wear a bullet-resistant vest while you're at it. You can wear one on top of a t-shirt, and they're actually pretty comfortable for extended wear. Plus, the straps are so close to the rest of your clothes that they're nearly snag-proof.
Pop-bottle armor: not a bad idea, but plastic thicker than a pop bottle would be more useful - try a plastic 55-gal drum or something similar. The shaping would be easy - make a form from chicken wire, drape the plastic over it, put it in an oven at a few hundred degrees - hot enough to soften the plastic, not hot enough to ignite it.
On the off chance that I could actually find anything on that list around here, I'd probably go for the Flack Jacket, as it should provide a decent amount of protection from bites etc. Ultimately, that I'd prefer T-Armor, or no armor so I can run as fast as possible.
Bury deep, pile on the stones
Yet I will, dig up the bones
There is this stuff for sports called body armor I believe. You wear it under your uniforms to help stop cuts, scrapes, and absorbs some impact from falling. It is also fairly slippery to hold onto. It would not be bullet proof, but in areas were you have to be worried about zeds clawing and biting. It could help avoid zeds from grabbing you and it may prevent random full strenght zombie bites from penetrating.
I'm with Cheesehead on this - things like forearm and shin guards found at sporting goods or martial arts supply stores provide light protection to nibblable parts. might look kinda silly though.
I've got a nice leather trenchcoat that would actually provide some armor value, but yeah, there's too much loose fabric to snag onto, and zombies won't appreciate how cool it looks...
The battle rages but they fight in vain
When all is done it must begin again
-"Freya", the Sword
I'm going to have to go with a leather trenchcoat, thick sweatshirt, biker gloves, thick jeans and either hiking boots or cross trainers. Chainmail's for idiots, as is a bullet proof jacket. Kevlar is easier to cut through or bite through than shoot through, and if you're worried about getting shot you have no business there in the first place.
Max "Alright, we're just about set...half an hour to go and we'll b-JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"
Mitchell "WAGALGALGALGLALGA"
Max "AAAAAAAAAAAH"
Pop bottle plastic armor coated in oil/vasaline/KY jelly/whatever is slippery.
Not only is it extremely lightweight, but the concave (or is it convex?) shape of the 2 litre bottles would make it pretty difficult for the monsters to bite through. Have you ever tried to bite a 2 litre bottle coated in petroleum jelly? Me neither, but it would be pretty tough. Could be custom trimmed for the individual.
^ Yes, I am completely serious. Think about it.
And a biker helmet with any vision obstruction removed. Even better would be a nice hockey goalie mask with the cage/neck protector, but those aren't exactly gonna be laying around, unles you feel like looting a sporting goods store.
Metal trash can lids can make for rudimentary shields. I'm gonna survive this thing.
Cheesehead's suggestions are duly noted.
:!: D-FENS :!:
One problem with the pop-bottle armor:
The thinness of the plastic being used is a serious concern of mine. Granted, using 2-liter bottles coated with grease MAY prevent zombies from actually ripping off flesh, but the crushing force could still be damaging. Conscious human beings nearly always modulate muscle strength to avoid permanent muscle damage. Example 1: try breaking your jaw with your tongue: your tongue is strong enough to do it, but your nervous system won't let you. Example 2: the grannie who lifts a car off of her grandson to save him - sure it's doable, but you never hear about the muscles, ligaments, and tendons that the grannie tore apart.
Given zombies' presumed invulnerabilty to pain, I'd be very concerned that a zombie biting down on mere soda bottle plastic would crush the muscle and tissue underneath, even if the zombie did shatter its own jaw in the process.
The armor concept (especially the grease idea!) is great, just might want to use thicker plastic than soda bottles.
Metal trash can lids can make for rudimentary shields. I'm gonna survive this thing.
:!: D-FENS :!:
Where have I heard that before...
However, I'm no sports fan, but if I recall correctly, a Biker Helmet has better all-round protection than a hockey mask ala Jason. It's also designed for extremely hard collision at high speeds, instead of the mask which is designed to provide slight protection against a speeding slightly-airborne hockey puck. Keep the visor too, leave it out and they'll go straight for it and tear out the eyes. Leave it in and they might not even see your eyes, but you'll certainly see theirs (Provided they still have them of course
)
Bury deep, pile on the stones
Yet I will, dig up the bones
... found it yet? ...
... yet ...?
We're going to encounter two schools here (as with nearly everything) where everyone will have to decide on the continuum from strong to sleek. I want it to be more sleek, I don't care about broken bones, I'm more concerned about zombism. If your hand is crushed, you can still run.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD