This thread is for the examination of the use of various household items for the disposal of zombies. Often people are not as prepared as they should be for the undead menace. Many households, sadly, do not stock silenced firearms or katanas. They do have various items which may prove themselves useful in dispatching zombies.
Kitchen knives - Every household has a drawer full of sharp knives of various sizes. Many a film has a damsel in distress who, having plucked up her courage, seizes a paring knife to defend her home from evil doers. This is exactly what you should not do in the event of a zombie outbreak.
Although knives are handy weapons in most situations they lack any stopping power when it comes to the undead. Often the knives are too short to penetrate the brain sufficiently, or they are too wide to fit into the eye socket. Kitchen knives are not designed for stabbing. They will often break upon the hard bone of the skull. They are best used to penetrate to the heart or for slashing wounds that kill through bloodloss. These methods may work on a living person but they will not halt an undead one.
Screwdriver - A thoughtful defender will look to a toolbox instead of the kitchen. A screwdriver, while far from optimal, can dsipatch a zombie. The preferred method is to drive the point of the tool's shaft through the vulnerable eyesocket, directly into the brain. This move can be accomplished with a swift forward stabbing motion, or a downward arching slash. Another possibility is to use the hardened steel point to blow through the lightly protected temple on the side of the head. Either way, this works best on a lone zombie. More can prove troublesome.
baseball bat - Most bludgeoning instruments will prove little use against the walking dead. Bats are something of an exception to this rule. Baseball bats are very common in american homes. A good aluminum bat will last through the crushing of many a skull. They are light and easily usable. The problem is that they require some space for their use and that the human skull is difficult to crumple under any circumstances.
These dificulties can be overcome through the correct application of tactics. Zombies are easily lured into traps. A person need merely shout to draw the attention of one. Your best choice is to retreat to an open space, such as the basement, garage or living room. There you can shout to bring them lurching towards you. At this point ready the bat. Do not attack the head! Although that is the only way to kill them, a mis-timed blow may mean that a zombie is able to get a bite in. Instead swing as hard as you can at an exposed knee. A powerful blow from a bat will crush a human knee and bring the zombie crumpling to the floor. They feel no pain but they are not immune to gravity. Repeated blows to the head are now easily achieved. Do not stop striking until the head has totally collapsed.
Simple spears - When most people think about spears they envision a wodden shaft with a metal tip on the end. The metal tip is preferred but hardly necessary. Look around your home. There are probably quite a few pieces of wood between 4-6 feet in length. With some time and work these can be converted into spears. Use a kitchen knife to sharpen the ends until they become points.
This kind of weapon is not hugely useful, but it can have its purpose. The simple spear is meant to a jabbing weapon. It keeps the zombie at a distance while the user attempts to penetrate the eye with quick blows. Anyone using these should work with several of them. If a spear is lost by being stuck in another part of the body or broken by bloodless hands then another should be immediately available. A skilled user can skewer many zombies with enough practice.
These are only a few possibilities. Post your own ideas for improvised weapons or helpful tactics.
I was killin' zombies before it was cool. |
Crowbar/Prybar - Its curved head makes a perfect handle to poke at zombies in close range, and by holding it by the long end and swinging, it becomes a nice warhammer that is less likely to get caught in bone and flesh than a hammer because of its streamlined shape.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD
I was killin' zombies before it was cool.
See, that was easy for me to get to, but then again, I may have lived in an odd house. Another for the list:
Spade: While there are many variations on the shovel, a spade is designed for cutting deep into the ground through tough dirt, weeds, and roots. It is typically a short handle but is long enough to keep them at a good distance while also being able to be used at very close range.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD
Spade: While there are many variations on the shovel, a spade is designed for cutting deep into the ground through tough dirt, weeds, and roots. It is typically a short handle but is long enough to keep them at a good distance while also being able to be used at very close range.
Many garden impliments would make good weapons against the oh-so-inevitable zombie arising. And with a lil jerry-rigging you could make a pretty effective arsenal from your garden shed. I recommend everyone having on hand some common home improvement tools such as grinders, imagine that spade with the edge honed too a sharpness? A few swings could take off grasping zombie limbs before topping the skull neatly.
Hoes and pitchforks would be handy too, though personally I'd cut the average pitchefork prongs in half too reduce the risk of getting them snagged on bone and loosing your weapon.
Hoes and pitchforks would be handy too, though personally I'd cut the average pitchefork prongs in half too reduce the risk of getting them snagged on bone and loosing your weapon.
A very good point (no pun intended) keeping a grinder around and a sawzall (though that is more rare to find) will allow you to accomplish some quick metalwork to create some good weapons.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD
I think the only thing I own from the list so far is a screwdriver. So here's my contribution for the (probably mostly college-aged) folks living without all the fun gardening/home improvement equipment:
Break stuff. You are not coming back for all your neat things later, so break your furniture, your appliances, and your living space into weapons that you can take with you.
A table or chair leg can be a good substitute for a baseball bat. A pipe from under the sink is even better. Hanging light fixtures and standing lamps may be another source of metal bludgeons. Scissor blades are good for stabbin', at close range or on the end of a broom handle as a spear tip. Use the metal rods that hold up your shower curtain or your clothes in the closet, or use your coat tree if you've got one. Be creative, and you will be armed.
Axes
Hatchets, axes, and mauls are all excellent weapons for use against zombies, and any family that goes camping on a semi-regular basis should have at least one of them. A hatchet is the least useful, being about as effective as a machete. Axes and mauls are incredible implements of destruction, but have the problem of being weighty, and hard to swing. This applies especially to mauls.
However, an axe, and especially a maul have one major advantage. You do not need to be accurate with these things, hit a zombie anywhere with a good swing of a maul, and it will be on the floor, ten feet away, in pieces.
Sledges
A sledgehammer is slightly less useful than a maul, being about the same thing, except without the edge. This does make it better for running with, though, so it may be preferred as a crowd clearing implement over a maul. I suggest just using an axe though.
Hmm. The thing you need to be cautious about is weight. Yes, a sledge and a maul can do INCREDIBLE damage, but the recovery time per swing is way too long. I am about 5' 10" 170 lbs, and when I've used a sledge for non combat things, it throws me around fairly well. The same with the axe -- its lighter than a sledge, but still not a fast weapon and not an incredible reach. I haven't posted the article yet, but it does exist in the dank recesses of one of my computers, but I was pointing out that you really need to fight with a weapon that allows you to fight well, not just do a lot of damage.
If you are clearing zombies, you will want a weapon that allows you to swing, and immediately be ready to swing again. For this, perhaps carrying two weapons may be best which might allow the wielder to use one as a block or distraction and the other as the killing blow.
However, the axe, maul and sledge are very useful tools if you are not concerned about a lot of zombies and therefore can take your time to bash in the brains without having to avoid another chomping fest.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD
I think what else is important to note is what do you really need this stuff for. As I was looking around my apartment (a couple big knives, a rolling pin of marble, heavy-duty flashlight, broom, mop) I realized there wasn't much that I would want to fight with. I have things that might do a bit of damage, but they woudn't last long and most of them certainly wouldn't deal a death blow no matter how hard I swung. But then I realized something, you don't need to kill them, you just need to escape them. If you arm yourself with a medium-sized skillet, a broom handle or a chunk of some furniture you can keep them away from you fairly well. You don't need to try and kill them, but if you use a broom or mop to simply push them down or away, you won't be out of danger, but you will give yourself more time.
All that needs to be said is this: FIRE = BAD
You're right about the weight, though I think that in any situation where fighting back is even feasable, using an axe would still work out fairly well.
Still the steel baseball bat does seem to be the ideal weapon for most situations. I should get one of those.
As for just grabbing whatever's nearby in your house, that works well while you're still in your house and trying to get out (really well, actually, as you can use whatever you want and not really care about missing it), but once you're out, it's best to keep it to a small number of fairly effective weapons.
Also, a weapon which has some practical purpose, such as a spade or shovel, would be a good choice to take with you.